


Lume

by OriliumButtons, thisisup_upisno



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Vampire Slayer, Biting, Day At The Beach, Everything Is Sand Out There, F/F, F/M, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Half vampire Keith, Keith (Voltron) is So Done, M/M, Pidge is a gremlin, Witch Allura, Witch Pidge, allura is a mousey mama, broganes, coran has war stories, dhampires are rare, except for Kuron, graphic depictions of sunburns, it's a crack fic, kinda plot compliant?, lance and hunk come from hunter families, my sisters help me write this, shiro likes to start shit, shiro's parents are mentioned, the mice are low key evil, we're ignoring everything after season two, welcome to my cheese
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-06-26 17:42:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15668109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OriliumButtons/pseuds/OriliumButtons, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisup_upisno/pseuds/thisisup_upisno
Summary: Where Keith has glowing eyes and Lance has a Problem On His Hands. (Shiro can't stop giggling in the corner)





	1. Midnight Snack

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by @pasteldogg's shitpost on Tumblr and we just ran with it from there.

It’s been 10,000 years. The lights were bound to go out at some point.

  


The Castle Of Lions never really was the same since Commander Sendak and his crystal corrupted its systems. After a solid half an hour of fumbling, swearing, and light injuries, the crew split up, with their flashlights in hand, to find those tricky, tricky mice. Coran, no matter how amazing he was, couldn't make his fingers small enough to reach the misbehaving wires, and Pidge didn’t have a long enough arm, so it was necessary to find the mice. Those tricky, tricky mice. Shiro, on account of having been up for...an inadvisably long time, was sent to bed after the mice stayed unfound for too long and he started falling asleep against walls. Pidge was deployed to the Nest so they could flick through their cameras in case the mice ventured out of the vents. Allura and Coran both set out to search the more usual hidey-holes. Again. Just in case.

  


Hunk and Lance were paired together. They were walking near the kitchen, the blue beams from their flashlights bouncing in front of them. Lance glanced around and stopped, a frustrated sigh almost escaping. “I give up! We’ll never find those mice! They could be in the walls for all we know!” He melodramatically swooned over onto the wall and slid to the floor. Hunk sighed and turned to him, but before he could say anything, a loud crashing noise came from the dining room. 

  


Hunk grinned. “Or they could be in the kitchen.” 

  


Lance quickly stood up and they went on either side of the door. Lance glanced at Hunk and made several signs with his hands. Hunk made a mental note, for the twelth time, to sit down with him and learn some goddamn sign language already, this bombardment was beginning to feel pointed. (( _ Burn those tricky, tricky mice. _ )) 

  


Hunk ducked into the supply closet next to the kitchen and retrieved a bucket (useful in nearly every occasion! Certainly he finds himself needing one a lot) and moved to open the door, but Lance pried it open with his bare hands. Hunk entered the room, moving in to thud the bucket over some mischievous mice. He never got the chance to.

  


A crinkling and a sudden light drew their attention. In the dark, gold gleamed. 

  


Vampire.

  


_ Is that…??? _ Hunk was frozen on the spot. The yellow eyes glowed ominously in the room and seemed to hold him in place. Hunk couldn’t breathe. This  _ thing _ was someone he knew.

  


“ _ HOLY _ **_SHIT_ ** **!** ” Lance’s girly scream cut through the heavy air. Hunk dropped the bucket and clutched his ringing ear. Lance suddenly moved and he produced a cross from...somewhere.  _ Why does Lance keep a cross on hand anyway? Because we were definitely going to run into vampires in space. _

  


_ Oh yeah, _ Hunk remembered, returning to the present moment, which unfortunately contained vampires,  _ we just did _ .

  


_ “Dios mío, Dios mío  _ **_¡Vampiro!_ ** _ ¿Dónde está el agua bendita cuando la necesitas? ¿Qué hacemos? ¡¿Qué  _ **_hacemos_ ** _?! ¡Él es un jodido  _ **_vampiro_ ** _!” _ Lance dug his fingernails into Hunk’s arm. Hunk didn’t notice. 

  


Footsteps pounded down the halls as Allura and Coran thundered towards the screaming.

  


The ceiling gave a suspicious rattle.

  


Shiro, hand alight, plowed through the wall feet first, hair wild, eyes half closed, Ready To Rumble. Bits of wall stuck to his sleep clothes. He was closely followed by Allura, who entered through the door like a civilized lady, bristling with weapons, also like a civilized lady. Coran wiggled himself past Hunk and Lance and began frantically waving his arms in some sort of alien martial arts.

  


There was a pause. Allura lowered her arsenal, Coran calmed down, and, slowly, Shiro began to laugh.

  


Allura spoke first. “What is the meaning of this?”

  


Keith blinked. "...I just wanted some chips."


	2. Don't Talk Before Our Appla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof

Keith was dragged away by Shiro. They left Lance to be wrangled by Hunk, the mice to be found by...someone else, and just left. The sound of Lance’s screaming grew softer the further they traveled down the winding metal hallways, gleaming strangely in the near darkness. Shiro kept his hand activated for a light source, so the place felt more spooky than normal.

 

“I just wanted some chips.”

 

“I know, bud, I know.” Shiro patted Keith’s shoulder and wrapped his human arm around his little brother. “Just get some sleep.”

 

“But these taste like BBQ.”  I mean Keith would in fact say that but. Why is he saying that

 

Shiro couldn’t help it. Halfway down the hallway, the giggles broke through his self-control. Oh,  _ boy _ , this was going to be  _ fun. _

* * *

 

The lights were fixed by “morning”. Pidge had wrangled up the space mice in a secret compartment in Rover, which they installed specifically for a problem such as this. (They elected not to say a word. It was better to watch the voltron crew flail from the safety of their Nest).

 

Breakfast was quiet. Too quiet.

 

Lance was fidgety, fingering a pendant between his thumb and pointer that Pidge could not completely see.  _ Great, another thing that I didn’t see. I’ll have to hack the cameras later. _ Pidge observed him sneak glances at the door apprehensively.

 

Hunk wasn’t much better. 

 

Lance and Hunk whispered to each other, voices still raw from freaking last night.

 

Pidge steals a glance at their Princess.

 

Allura wore her hair up, baby bun in a mess and pink bruises around her eyes, knuckles wrapping on the table every few seconds. A nervous tick.

 

_ What’s up with them? _

 

Pidge files this away for later. Coran enters the room, Keith in tow, who is crinkling his nose at the yellow and purple concoction Coran is raising high into the air like a fancy waiter at a fancy restaurant. Space Waiter.   
  


“Oh look who decided to show up,” Pidge called out, grinning at their - late - friend. Keith squints at Pidge tiredly, hair in every direction and poofy. If Pidge ever admitted to themselves that they had emotions, they would say that it was adorable. 

 

“Good morning Paladins! We’ve got some Jakuvian Egg Fruit, fresh from planet Jakvia in the Q’udrine system as a peace offering! Very nutritious, good for you, definitely.”

 

A collective groan gripped them.

 

Pidge noticed Keith had chosen to sit next to Shiro today, instead of next to Lance. Something was wrong. Pidge made a mental note to troubleshoot the problem later. At that moment, Allura stood and announced the game plan.

 

“Jakvia is the ‘pitstop’ for today, and is near the edge of our known universe, in a place where the Galra find it difficult to fly large ships in due to an unknown energy haywiring any complex systems. Therefore, we will be suited up and taking, er, hoverbikes?”

 

“But we only have a handful of hoverbikes in the castle, so two of you will have to share.” Coran added.

 

The paladins all put their fingers on their noses.

 

Keith stopped staring at the...egg fruit...on the end of his fork, locking eyes with Lance, who had been distractedly staring at Keith while Keith played with his ‘food’. He raised a brow.

 

“You think we could hide this in Rover?”

 

Pidge’s head snaps to Keith, hidden dagger in their bra unsheathing as Hunk lets out a nervous laugh,

 

“I swear to Alfor’s goatee, Keith--”

 

Coran aims a well practiced grab at the hand hovering a knife over Keith’s neck, trying to fight the knife out of their hand but Pidge re-stashes it in their Boob Pouch. Coran fires an overly-exaggerated determined look at Pidge as the conversation continues casually - as casual as it gets for them in the morning. (Pidge decides they no longer care to fix the error at the moment.)

 

“Did you just…?! You made a joke - wait?? I-I...can’t ride a hoverbike!” Lance waves his egg fruit around in punctuation.

 

“What about hoverbikes?”

 

“Do you eVER LISTEN WHEn I’M TALKING, KOGANE??” Allura stands again, now threateningly slamming her hands on the table. (Pidge tries to keep a straight face as their girlfriend puffs out her cheeks in annoyance)

 

“I just missed the last part, Princess.” Keith drips his last words with venom that burns Allura’s cheeks in an angry scarlet. Hunk looks, panicking, between the pair as Lance starts up to leave the room.

 

Shiro clears his throat from the doorway, interrupting the Voltron Team’s tired bitching. He holds up a Space Coffee pot, the blue and sparkly Altean potion still bubbling hot, as he approaches the table with a smile and a wink in Hunk’s direction. 

 

“When did you even leave?” Hunk asks, still panicking.

 

“None of us are going on that Jakvia mission until we’ve all had our Appla for the day,” Shiro resigns. Hunk is glad he taught his space ninja dad how to use the coffee - er, appla maker.

 

Everyone else is, too.

* * *

 

 

Lance should have seen it coming. That pretty pale skin, silent steps, those haunting grey eyes. The asshole attitude. All signs.

 

But Lance didn’t. He knew Keith. The asshole attitude was a cover; in reality, the Keith Lance had come to know had cared so deeply, too deeply about people. About Voltron, about their cause, about  _ him _ . Keith was a nice guy. Keith would-beat-up-a-gang-of-dudes-over-a-sick-kitten nice guy.

 

But now Lance knew that that nice guy is most probably an illusion, like vampires do best. A sham to trick them all into a false sense of security. A big fat lie.

 

Lance fingered his rosary.

 

He wasn’t going to let Keith trick him anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mod Omega: ooooo some development~  
>  Sorry for the long wait y’all we lost motivation for a bit, but have a wholesome Space Family before some drama! Thanks for reading! Please review.


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